Make me wonder but no sad feeling :) Computer Programing 2

oh gosh.

Lazy to blog now.

oh yea, holiday

yea, i'm holiday-ing now.

I sempat met my old friends before they leaving for university.

Congratulations.

Now, i'm at TM doing nothing, keep thinking of DSLR which is kinda of impossible for me to get one, my family isn't rich!

Sob, sob, i want a DSLR, eos 550D or D5000! someone please give me as whatever gift, XD.

recently, kinda of lazy to update my blog.


just feel like staying home doing nothing. XD.

time to update about the half of the summer semester

where am i now?

C++ lab.

whoa.

Btw, i'm going to update about my current activities.

I went to Genting and Malacca last weekend. 

Had fun

Awesome. Thanks friends.

However, i still having problem. Maybe that's my own problem. Maybe i think too much.

Besides, i i cooked last night. Thanks for becoming the white mouses.

Oh YEAH, we will have a potluck tomorrow's night. Attendees, girls, about 15 of us.

Recursion, pointer, class, method, etc ->PROGRAMMING

50% of the summer gone

I had had my C++ test 1 today, the only test before final examination. Screwed it or not, it doesn't matter anyway.

After finished my test, i came back to akasia while others went to sunway. I had to replace my maybank visa debit card as it couldn't be used anymore. I waited in maybank for 2 hours. while waiting, i online. hehe.

Before coming back, we went to ossp to ask about jpa medical check up, whoa, it's lengthy and "tebal". sweat==''. injection again!

After maybank, i slept till 7 p.m. my dad and mum kept calling me asking me about whether to buy this and that or not. luggage winter wear, etc. as usual, i said, sui bian la. that's no point of calling me. XD. in the end, they will decide to buy it or not. haha. well, i guess they bought the 20-inch polo luggage and one winter wear today. tomorrow they will call again for other stuffs.

the international driving license can be applied for 1 year only. haiz. super sob.

what else? brickfield wesak day-not going. sorry!

today  lowyat
29/30  May       Relay for Life 

3/4     June     Genting
5        June     Malacca
6        June     Kajang
10/11 June     Muar or Back to Kelantan

the list goes on...
hopefully.

went to nowhere in may! bcs my heart wasn't opened yet!

Random financial update

I haven't prepared!
Pizza Hut + Noodle Station
Zero Cent Left!
Owed Bev RM4.30.

ATM card rosak.
Couldn't withdraw money.

me pokai but life is going on

last week, really pokai.
now also.
brought a luggage cost me rm220, my mum said expensive.

she banked in rm300 for 2 luggage, one smallest, one largest. but i just brought one 28-inch luggage.

now, pokai. before rm300 was banked in, i got rm50. now, got rm40. bcs spending on food and everything when went to subang.

RM40 or less to be spent in one week. Siew La, you can do it!

this coming 29/30 may, bukit jalil, relay for life, hopefully don't have to spend a single cent, but i guess i will bcs i like to donate, sweat==''

before that, i got c++ test (20%) on this coming thursday, gg liao.

then on 3/4 june, going to genting, rm40 for hotel, then transportation, and everything, i don't have money, how? haven't told my parents, haiz, sure die one.
i need at least rm200 for this trip.

then one more week or on the same week, wanna go to malacca, but i pokai liao, have to ask money again?

omg.

really pokai, and really dunno what to do. work part-time i afraid i can't take it la. so, didn't!

haiz.

dad and mum, sorry, i really pokai. use lots before.

having fun? oh really. i pokai liao.

can i live with rm60 for 2 weeks? we wait and see.

some random update

1myselfpsl is totally different from myselfpsl
the previous blog
y? this blog, i'm always emo, emo and emo
yet, today update is also emo

yea, i'm going to purdue to further my studies but why am i still worry about maryland? i'm kiasu!
that's the answer. everyone gotten it just me is pending, so i'm worry. haha, stupid me actually.

c++ 2, so far so bad. i didn't get a single thing that i learned from lecture. haiz. assignment 1 given but i dunno how to do. die me!

hasn't gotten reply from physics 2's lecturer, only he knew the reason why i failed to score expected result for my final. i really want to know. pls tell me. tell me i'm bad in physics, i can accept it. just tell me the truth, thanks.

my friendship killing me. haiz

that's all. just to express. nothing much than that~

doubt about my capabilities

omg
such a bad mood
estimated i score terribly for physics 2 final
made me doubt about my capabilities to continue majoring in electrical engineering or any other engineerings.

it's not easy to forget if i had expected it to be a good grade

i never expected it to kill my cgpa.

haiz. i am totally speechless. i really really no ideas at all why my final was screwed.

it's beyond my worst expectation!.
god if you were existed, send me the clue. i seriously want to know it, no matter what, i can accept it.

results

all the results are beyond my expectation except for C++.

i never expected to score well for technical writing, literature and ctes.

i expected to score well in physics but i scored bad, worse than my worse expectation for my physics 2. anyone can tell me the reasons why i scored bad for my physics 2?

i really really disappointed.

it's like out of my world. i never score that bad for the subject i expected to score well. i didn't even had the feeling that i would score bad after final. it's really strange. super strange. i really dunno. according to my lecturer, i did bad for my final. but y, i couldn't feel it. with my grade i gotten, if just final affected it, i really have to think how bad i am in physics, it's super bad bcs i score almost full mark for the others 60%. 40% for the final, let said i lost 3 marks the max for the 60%. B+ is 87 to 90, let's said i score 89, the highest for B+, i should have lost 8% out of 40%, that's meant i lost 20 out of 100, the minimum for the final. That's means 80/100, it's really incredibly low. it's really worse than my worst expectation. or might be lower than 80!

What?

i really can't accept the reality, do i have the chance to take a look at my final paper?

i really upset.

STUPID

it's me, not others, yea, stupid

am i rush? yea
am i stupid? yea
am i crazy? yea
am i bored? yea

haiz.

housing hasn't settled.

C++ 2

I have been assigned to take psychology this semester. However, i requested to take C++ 2 and my appeal was succeed.

Computer programming 2 is the exact name for the course. I have missed 2 lectures but i asked my friends, they haven't started any lessons yet. Thus, i assume it should be a problem for me to catchup.

However, i attended 2 day lectures of psychology and found out that it was not my cup of tea. It is bored like hell. Although summer semester is a relaxing semester, but i think i should take something that is beneficial to my major.

Hopefully, my decision won't lead me to a miserable life.

sometime i am curious am i that bad?

i'm always alone and lonely.

yea, i have friends but never had a serious conversation before.

i have friends but they don't trust me, and so do i.

i have friends but neither of them really understand what i feel and so do i.

i have friends but never they honestly tell me what i have done and so do i.

fair enough?

i'm bad, yea, i admit.

i really feel bad for myself.

if possible, i want to tell you guys who called themselves my friends that i can't feel the friendship but i can't.

maybe you might say i'm pessimistic, ignorant or whatsoever. yea, i am.

who am i actually? how i behave actually? i really curious sometime.

being rush also wrong
being slow also wrong

care also wrong
don't care also wrong

now
i really dunno how to behave like a normal human being who has friends to talk and trust her and to trust her.

i just want to be normal

although i have high expectations, it doesn't mean i can't be normal.

haiz.

i really upset.

People have plan that will work out but i have plan that won't work at all.

This will be my super-bored summer semester.

i want to go for vacations but i don't have enough friends and don't have friends to follow me to go for vacations.

places that i want to go
1) Lowyat
2) Genting
3) Langkawi
4) Sunway Lagoon
5) Malacca
6) Penang

i also want to taste "a little" liquor before flying to USA. not implied that i never drink liquor. just want to taste it again with different people and atmosphere.

i want to watch movies. movies and movies in cinema.

although it's summer semester, i don't want to screw the subject that i will take.

i want to have fun but i want to score it.

my plan will only work on my side which is score it bcs i have plenty of time to study bcs my other plans won't work at all.

The journey back to kelantan was cancelled due to...

My tears were dropping down non-stop after knowing that jpa going to send me off to ohio state university. Thus, i cancelled my taxi to kl sentral and didn't manage to take the board on the train yesterday night.

Where am i now?
Subang Airport.

I'm not rich just i missed my bed so bed.


I really want to go back due to a lot of bad things happened around me recently.

I really want to take a rest.

I'm sorry, mum and dad. i know rm200 isn't easy to earn.

I just too lazy to blog about it. Thanks everyone in helping me sorting out my problem. Just pray hard for the most correct path for my future.

Overall, I have a awesome Spring Semester, but ...

Spring 2010, today marks the end of IT. I have just finished my final examination.
Despite the sudden breakthrough news that has made me depressed and wonder about my personality, spring semester was really awesome.

Let's start with the good things first.

Literature with Mr.Kamal
As you all knew me, myselfpsl, never like languages. However, she enjoyed literature class. I have learned a lot about American's writing. The more i learn about literature, the more i love language. Thanks

Physics 2 with Mr. Nizam
Simple lecture yet complicated stuff. Hopefully, i can score well for this subject although it's not transferable.

C++ with Ms.Saidatul
I love this subject very much. I enjoy every single thing i learned. If possible, i really want to major in it.

Technical Writing with Ms.Kiranjeet
Just normal esl course. Didn't aim high for this. Thanks to my teammates! You guys have surely upgraded my grade.

and Finally CTES with Mr.Redha
Legal issues, didn't aim for it too.. Still, i was thinking of opt it but given up due to the high carrier mark, 52/60. The highest for actp is 53. If i did well for the final, the highest i could get is B+. just hope for that.

Enough with academic stuffs. Let's move on to my life.

YEa, it's depressing.

I really depressed.

It's undeniable i'm bad but i'm not that bad.

I might be selfish but my selfishness is not that high.

Really don't want to talk about it.

Friends, if you really cared, just let's me be what i want to be.

I really upset to hear that i'm irritating and annoying and selfish and unethical.

Full stop.

Yea, going back to tm real soon.

I'm emo again!

Frankly speaking, my emoness can be stopped.
Final is approaching. What i can say for my progress is 0% studied.

Took a look at my test 2 paper, surprisingly, i didn't screw it but i screwed my quiz 4 which me i lost 1.7 mark for final grade.

i have to score above 90 in the final examination which is kinda of impossible for me to score A!
I need want a A not A+ like others.

moody-it isn't my fault. i'm sorry.

yea, i am emo these few days.
frankly speaking, i also dunno the specific reasons.
yea, i admit i feel sad before i didn't do well for my c++ test 2. i realized i wrote the program wrongly. that's my stupid mistake.
yea, i admit i feel tension that final is approaching.
yea, i admit i feel "unhappy" with my c++ game.
but all those things are normal things. should not have affected my mood.

10 more days, i will go back to TM. but, i am not that happy.

i have 2 more presentation to do. C++ game and Empirical Report.

Assignment-C++ game, Empirical Report, CTES which due next week.

3 final subjects-CTES, physics, C++..

less than 10 days to study. tension!

Nothing much can i do when i'm moody. don't feel like doing anything.

i have to admit that my mind is thinking about life after intec which i shouldn't think right now.
frankly speaking, i think the reason why i'm so emo not because of stuffs in intec, isn't hectic actually. but because stuffs after intec.

i'm sorry, friends if my moody-ness brings some effects to u guys...

gambateh for the final week of this spring sem.

26-30 april, btn!