21/11/2008--miserable day! A day that i should not forget it!

21-- 2 in one day--FAIL
Chess i wont touch you again after Charisma~
You are making me felt guilty!
Win, lost or draw!
I lost~
Tomorrow will be another game for me to play, i want win or draw-no more careless or silly mistake--just a game--not a test-- but i should consider it as a test~

1st game--Queen had a big desire to kill others then finally she died due to the appetite of eating!--big mistake--i admit that is my fault--
2nd game--Caesar have nothing to do so put itself somewhere to be killed! Wrong--my fault again~
Haiz, i am very disappointed with myself.
Give up or improve?
I really felt guilty when i lost.
i dunno how to answer others when they ask me i won or lost.
Tonight, i am sure my mum will call and ask, i should tell her i lost because of my careless and let her scold me like what she did when i didn't get mark due to the silly mistake i did during the examination or i should tell her that the opponents are very strong, got MSSM, MSSK players, what should i tell her?
I am really dunno is that i am the suitable player for the chess?
It tests our mental~MENTAL~
Haiz, do anyone have any useful solution for me?
tonight i will tell my mum i lost, then reason, opponents too strong~ Lie or fact?
Whatever...
I have tried my best-Izzit?